Close your eyes and imagine a picture perfect day, when all seems right with the world. You know those rare days, when the sun kisses your face in just the right way, when the road you walk rises up to meet you, and everyone you pass, is smiling just for you. Do you see it? Do you see me? A vibrant woman who recognizes the love of God in all things, a woman consumed with laughter and joy, an active woman, who loves playing tennis, shopping and traveling, a modest woman who often frequents the park to read or watch the ducks, a wife who loves openly and honestly, and a mother who gives in abundance my whole heart…
Now…close your eyes and imagine a day when life blows darkness over you…a storm …when all you can feel on your face is the contortion of devastation and the downpour of tears bellowing so loudly that you can barely hear the diagnoses…My diagnosis—Optic Atrophy.
Optic Atrophy is a condition that affects the optic nerve. The optic nerve is a bundle of nerve fibers that carry images from your retina to your brain, but when the nerves begin to deteriorate it can lead to blindness. Do you see me?
In 2007, my life changed forever. We had just moved to a different state. My husband and I had developed and nurtured our children to fruition, and now they were beautiful adults. My daughter was in her first year of college and we were so excited about the next chapter in our lives. It was now time for us to pursue some of our dreams, but on that solemn day in the doctor’s office, my dreams were not the only thing wasting away. My vision was deteriorating and I was facing blindness.
I had never heard of Optic Atrophy. I had so many questions. I knew my life would change, but I had no idea how much. I sat numb and devastated as I heard the doctor recite all of the things I would never be able to do again. I cried a tear for every piece of independence that was snatched from me. A million thoughts went through my mind. I couldn’t believe it was true! Why was this happening to me? What am I going to do?
As my vision blurred, so did my life. I withdrew from those who loved me, my family and friends, and I faded into a deep dark place. I stayed up late into the night and slept the days away. And it was there that I cried, loathed and questioned the meaning of my existence. I wanted my independence back. I detested the thought of being a burden to anybody. My husband was the only one that knew my condition. I was not ready to share this information with my children. I knew I had to accept my new normal; I just could not pull myself out of this deep dark hole.
When I had to be around people, I pretended things were good. Pride and shame had a tight grip on me, and I refused to discuss my vision. I struggled in this state for five years. I was tired…tired of being alone…tired of the struggle…tired of hiding. So, I prayed for wisdom and peace.
Finally, in 2012, I was able to talk about blindness. I made the choice to embrace my life with a different attitude, but just as I started to grasp a new reality, I experienced a new setback. I fell and broke three bones in my leg. This required surgery. I have nine pins and a rod in my leg today. I had to start over again, and learn to walk. The little independence I had gained was lost once again. I was totally at the mercy of my family and friends. I had a choice to make. I could slip back into the darkness, or I could embrace my journey as a lesson. I decided to embrace this path, surrender my will and receive God’s Peace for this journey
It took two years of rehabilitation to get to this point, but I am here again. As I turn the page, I am excited about this chapter of my life. I can feel the sun kissing my face, the road rising up to meet me again, and the warmth of smiles as I journey. God has a plan for me, and life still has great possibilities for me. I have been set apart for such a time as this. I can make a difference, and so can you! Do not be defined by your disability, rather allow it to propel you into your destiny. Now, I am the voice for the blind and visually impaired, and out of my need for transportation, God has given me the idea and platform to develop RMFTB (Restore Mobility for the Blind).
Losing my peripheral sight doesn’t mean I have to lose my vision. I am Cynthia Thompson. I am active, intelligent, innovative, and ready to go.
Join me on this Journey.